For a brief, infinitesimal moment, Carmen imagined that it was all over, that she had finally died, standing, in the crowded train car that moved slowly to an unknown destination. She opened her eyes and saw darkness and a yellow triangle. She remembered how she had gotten there, but she couldn't hold onto the thought because an old man's arm, blindly trying to make its way through the bodies without seeing her, squeezed her neck ferociously and cut off her breath. She moved to the side, a few centimeters, and managed to inhale a breath of fetid air. The car full of dying people, the murmurs that roared furiously in her ears like the buzzing of bees, the overcrowding, everything was still there, belligerent, persistent, wrapped in folds of acrid sweat. She remembered everything that could be remembered and knew that she was not dead, that she was still alive, that despite everything, she was still alive. The stench once again dodged the ceremonies and seemed to stab between her eyes; it poured down her cheeks, violated the seal of her lips, and reached her throat, causing her to retch. A thousand retches. She vomited nothing, because there was nothing to vomit, and another bit of air entered her lungs, that poor, vitiated air. Nevertheless, she managed to move a few more centimeters, and the old man's arm fell to the side like a dry branch breaking. She didn't look. She didn't want to look at him. And anyway, she wouldn't have seen much. A bloodless limb, a yellow triangle sewn onto the sleeve, just that. Another old man expiring, among so many.
She glanced
around the packed car and distinguished lumps, minimal movements, shadows cut
diagonally by sharp slivers of silver light. Among the people piled up like
cattle, there were living and dead, mixed in tight and morbid embraces. The
confused maneuvers to move away from them lacked harmonic sense and were too
similar to others, to shuffling steps on rough floors, to matches being struck
without energy against the edge of a box. Those steps, the last she had seen
before boarding the train, were confined to a dubious corner of memory and
diluted among shadows and the smell of rot. That’s why it was so hard for her
to accept the humanity of that formless mass, that they were people, the same
ones she had seen at the train station, flanked by guards in black uniforms.
Those guards had led them from the trucks, through pens and enclosures, to a
narrow, fragile platform built with planks placed on barrels to improvise a
platform. The human mass pushed in all directions, flowing and swaying in a
constant back-and-forth, describing incomplete circles and scanning the few
meters of visible universe with anxious eyes. And at some point, the train
swallowed them.
Here and
now, in the darkness, the pallor of those carefully shuttered faces seemed to
increase as the train ventured into strange territory. Double, triple
ignorance, thought Carmen. Where are they taking me? Do they know who I am? Do
I even know who I am? What do the images that assault me like flashes mean,
exploding in the gloom of the car? A forest. Is the grove a memory or a
premonition? An afternoon of sun. David. A checkered tablecloth. Ezeiza. Yes!
It's the Ezeiza forest. But suddenly, thunder cracked, and a merciless downpour
unleashed. We ran for cover. We ran seeking shelter and arrived soaked at the
refuge where a man with a mustache was drinking mate while reading the
newspaper La Nación. How ridiculous! He wore dark glasses when the sun was imprisoned
by gray, almost black clouds. They were murky thoughts, so distant, so lost...
But
thoughts could not be less murky than the atmosphere, though at some point,
pushing through the clenched teeth of the shadows, Carmen managed to catch the
fleeting meow of an idea. At regular intervals, there were openings intended
for ventilation in the car, near the ceiling. They were little more than
rectangular skylights, barely wider and taller than the door of a bread oven.
Bread. A painful, sharp memory lodged between her breasts overwhelmed the idea.
She was hungry. She had lost track of time, but it was a long, long time.
Hunger is an infallible witness.
I have no
way of knowing how much time, Carmen managed to think. Not once have the
hatches opened since we left; they don't care, we'll all die, this time I will
really die. A fleeting flash, maybe lightning, showed faces with startled eyes
and defeated jaws; helpless mannequins, almost beautiful, with their triangles
sewn onto their sleeves.
Triangles
sewn onto their sleeves. She couldn't see her own triangle. It was black, dyed
with a purplish glow, because those monsters had classified her as a
prostitute, and she couldn't make herself understood. How could she explain,
when she didn't know a word of German? There were some green triangles, quite a
few red ones, a few violet ones, and many, many yellow ones... German is a
guttural language, David had said, they exercise their throats more than their
tongues. Where are you, my love, my David?
Wrapped in
her shroud of bodies, Carmen tried to move her head. What did triangles matter!
She couldn't stand it much longer. They had killed David, hadn't they? She
hadn't seen them do it, but they had killed him. He wasn't one to meekly accept
his fate. He had a gun and had used it, she was sure. But there were more of
them, and they had weapons far more powerful than a pistol. What triangle would
they have sewn onto David? Yellow for Jew? Red for communist? Or simply black,
because he was antisocial, an agitator, a subversive? Is a rebel the same as a
prostitute? It seems that to the Nazis, it's the same. They don't distinguish
very well between one and the other, poor things.
On the
verge of being split in two by a sob, Carmen thought again of the skylight,
between an extinguishing flash of lightning and the terrifying coughing fit of
a dying man, a sound so torn that it drove away all the bees and left a chorus
of groans. Another one dying. So what? She had come to accept the idea of death
so naturally that the first thunders, imposing themselves on the clatter of the
wheels on the rails, sounded to her like a sign of an external will, the
unequivocal signal that a fateful series of trials was coming. She recognized
delirium and separated the smells. Her nose, suitably equipped, capable of
distinguishing substances from one another, took control of the movement. It
wouldn't be easy, pressed as she was between bodies and bodies and bodies. Her
strength had abandoned her, but the others were castles of cards, smoke,
cobwebs. It wouldn't be easy, but she would do it. At first, she hardly had a
notion of what she was attempting, and it took another five furious thunders
for the mists in her mind to clear enough. The skylight.
Shoulder,
head, shoulder. Shoulder, head, shoulder. Suddenly, the shrill voice of an old
woman spun like a top before fading into nothingness. Carmen didn't know the
meaning of the words, but the tone hinted at the mixture of anger and
helplessness that imbued them.
"Bus
majte?"
"Sorry,
sorry." Shoulder, chin, teeth.
"Kurve!
Shmiedzi!" The words extinguished in the lap of a new thunder, and the
groans rose an octave. The train braked without stopping; screeches and metal
jolts shook the car, opening spaces between the bodies. Carmen, without knowing
how, had managed to end up below the skylight, stupidly staring at the pale
glow filtering through the opening. There were three or four dead in that spot:
a man, a woman, and, bundled under the dome formed by trunks and heads, two
teenagers. The man had killed them and then killed himself, like the
unfortunate souls of Worms and Mainz in the 11th century. David had explained
it to her. The Jews committed suicide when cornered. The yellow triangles. On
the boy's triangle, there was also a letter "B".
"Are
you Spanish?" Carmen barely glimpsed, in the next flash of lightning, a
wing of curly black hair. For a moment, she thought of saying no, that she was
South American, Argentine, that a strange chance had put her in that place, at
that time, her, who should have been somewhere else, among other people. It was
too complicated to explain the story of David, the ocean crossing, the escape
through half of Europe. Escape, what an exquisite word!
"Yes,"
she said concisely, just as the glow allowed her to see the brown triangle.
"And you're a gypsy." It wasn't a question.
"An
unwanted person. Janika, my name. I'm Hungarian."
"Is
that your name? Mine is Carmen," she whispered. It seemed very strange to
her to have left behind the stench and hunger; that moment of pure astonishment
looked as unreal as the storm outside. The gypsy was the first person she had
encountered in a long time who could speak, even if clumsily, in her language.
To confirm the absurdity of the situation, the rain lashed in horizontal gusts,
and water penetrated through the small windows. Thus, the flashes and the
downpour once again differentiated the living from the dead. Carmen extended
her hand and touched Janika's face; a smile dissolved under her fingertips.
"Carmen,"
the gypsy repeated. She pointed to the black triangle on Carmen's sleeve and
added, "Are you a whore?"
"No."
An infinite weariness seemed to take hold of Carmen's will, preventing her from
accompanying the denial with any gesture. She needed all the energy, all she
could scrape from the bottom of her soul, to reach the skylight and climb down
the other side. Was Janika slim enough to pass through the narrow opening? She
was surprised to find herself thinking of something so absurd; she didn't even
know when she had decided to do it. "I'm not a whore, no. Will you come
with me?"
"Go
where?"
"Out
of this damned train." She spat each word with disgust, with hatred. She
also didn't know why she involved the gypsy in her mad plan. In reality, she
didn't know anything, she acted on pure instinct. But pure instinct also has a
voice and a finger. Pure instinct dictated her steps, ordered her to take
Janika with her, advised her to start piling up the bodies of the dead to form
a mound and reach the skylight.
"Mer
lojnicht," said the same old woman, as if the complaint reflected in
advance her condition as a victim. Carmen wondered again if the old woman was
angry or simply annoyed, though she seemed to be the only one paying attention
to what she was doing. Even Janika looked away, as if trying to discover
something in the darkness at the back of the car.
"Janika.
This is horrible, but we must do it."
"Kerem."
"I
don't understand you." She didn't understand why the others crowded,
pulling away, widening the circle around the dead either.
"Nothing."
Janika turned her face toward Carmen. The tears accumulated on her cheeks
gleamed like gems and fell on the body the gypsy grasped by the ankles.
"Bus
majte? Bus majte?" repeated the old woman, with her hands entwined over
her head, forming a cap.
"What
is she saying?" panted Carmen.
"It's
Yiddish, I don't know. That we shouldn't do this we're about to do, it
seems."
"Ij
ken yein," the old woman whimpered, covering her eyes and letting herself
fall.
"We
must do it," said Carmen. She had regained her strength, although she
understood that she could never have managed to pile up those corpses without
the gypsy's help. "It's enough." The bodies reached up to their
chests, and all they could do was pray that they wouldn't collapse as they
clung to arms and legs to reach the opening.
"I
lived in Spain, as a child," said Janika. Carmen looked at her for a
second. The statement explained the language, but now wasn't the time for such
details. "I have a knife," insisted the gypsy.
"I
don't care. We must get out of here." Carmen thought about the knife and
how little it would help if the guards found them. But the existence of the
weapon acted as a stimulus; something is something, she thought, we'll see what
it's for. She placed her foot on a hip and lifted herself with her hand
forward, groping in the dark; one thing was to pile up the corpses and another
to use them as a ladder. She grabbed a head of hair and almost let go; they
were soft, fine hairs of a girl, young like her. But dead. Dead. Dead.
"They
are dead; it doesn't matter," said Janika. "Come on, climb,
quickly."
"They
are dead," thought Carmen. "They are dead. They are dead. They are
dead..."
She was
startled by a dry crack, like a branch breaking. Yellow triangles, she thought,
red, brown, green. She prayed for at least one to be green. She waited for the
flash. No, it wasn't green, it was yellow. She stretched her hand as far as she
could and reached the edge of the vent, a twisted metal strip protruding from
the frame at several points. Taking care not to cut herself, Carmen put her
fingers in the channel and tried to lift her whole body. But the weakness
seemed to concentrate at that point, and she lost her footing.
"Don't
fall!" said the gypsy. With remarkable agility, the girl climbed over the
corpses and placed her head between Carmen's legs. "Take the knife.
Stab."
"Where?"
"Stab."
Janika stretched out her hand and placed the open knife in Carmen's palm. It
was wet, sticky. Whose blood was it? She stretched her arm and stabbed the
knife into the lower left corner of the frame, between the bronze and the wood.
Janika pushed, and Carmen felt the gypsy's nose in her crotch, but she didn't
care. She clung to the wall of the car and slowly lifted herself, inch by inch,
using the knife as a support point until she could rest her elbow on the edge.
"Does it fit?" The gypsy's voice was barely audible.
"What?"
"Your
head, does it fit through there?"
Carmen
moved her legs in the air and managed to stick her head out through the
skylight. She received a gust of humid, cold wind that made her shiver,
although the rain had subsided and the clouds, low and dark, continued to be
threaded by lightning. The train's movement was smooth and rhythmic, perhaps
because the tracks weren't in the best condition, which made her hope that she
could complete the maneuver successfully.
Outside!
She was outside! She let the wind whip her while she thought about how to get
her shoulders through the narrow opening. Would the guards see her? She pulled
back to extend her arm, placed her hand on the roof of the car, and with the
other hand on the edge of the skylight, she managed to pass half her body until
she was sitting in the opening. She felt Janika's fingers writing a message on
her ankles; she couldn't understand the word, but imagined the gypsy was asking
her to hurry. She did. Clinging to a miraculous ring on the roof, she lifted
her body until only her feet were supported on the skylight and half her body
clung to the edge. She was in an artificial, uncomfortable position, but it was
enough to catch her breath. She lifted her left leg until it crossed over the
edge of the roof, then the other. She couldn't believe it. She was lying on the
roof of the car, but she couldn't stay there, she had to make room for Janika.
Crawling like a snake, she moved forward looking for the end, where she would
surely find a handrail or ladder to climb down. The gypsy surprised her by
reaching her side in a ridiculously short time. Apparently, the girl was more
agile than her and maybe it wasn't the first time she moved on the roof of a
moving train.
"Silence.
Stick to the... ground," Janika whispered.
"The
knife?"
"I
have it. You adapted quickly."
Carmen
crawled again and reached the edge of the car. The idea of being caught between
two moving masses terrified her, although logic indicated that the cars never
touch. Anyway, the train was moving slowly, and the danger of being thrown off
during the descent was minimal. She thought for the last time about the
unfortunate people left in the car, about the old woman who had insulted her,
about the corpses piled like sandbags, about the sound of breaking bones...
It couldn't
be that easy; something had to go wrong, something had to go wrong.
The rain
had completely stopped, and the cold north wind pushed the clouds like a flock
of black sheep. Finally, the moon appeared, rolling on the horizon,
illuminating the landscape with insolent, dangerous brightness. Something can
go wrong, Carmen thought again. She couldn't see the ground, but there was no
choice but to take the risk. And although breaking an arm or a leg was a
forbidden luxury, she had to do it, force her will; death at her back and maybe
ahead... Now!
With no
room for new hesitation, Carmen let go of the crossbar and floated for a moment
in the opposite direction to the train's movement before touching the ground
and rolling down the slope. And as she rolled, she heard a dull thud,
immediate. Janika!
It hurt, of
course it hurt. A stab in the shoulder, like a titan's bite, and a dull
drumbeat in the knee. Is that all? Fate had cut her some slack. Nothing had
gone so wrong.
"Here
I am," she whispered, not daring to lift her head, much less stand. The
train continued to pass beside her, an enormous blind boa with no purpose.
Janika
crawled to where Carmen was and hugged her so tightly that it seemed to repeat
that brief moment of terror, death standing, suffocation.
They pulled
away to look into each other's eyes; both had them full of tears. Carmen spoke
first.
"Let's
go. Quickly."
"No,"
said Janika. "Let the train pass." How long would it take for the
whole line to pass over them? They couldn't know. Were there sixty, eighty
cars? The irritating slowness of the great black form made the whole landscape
unreal. It was matter flowing almost silently, an exquisite, exemplary
caterpillar.
"It
will never finish passing," said Carmen, distressed.
"Stay
still, girl." The gypsy held her hand. "It will pass."
"No.
Let's go."
"It's
too soon," Janika said through clenched teeth, biting each letter.
But Carmen
didn't listen, she pulled away abruptly and started walking crouched through
the bushes.
"Fool,"
said Janika, but she followed her.
They had
walked about a hundred steps when the last car, lit up like a ballroom, shone
in the night. There was a moment of pure, heartbreaking golden light that
seemed to probe the dull sound of the wheels, and then the screams.
"Da
haut einer ab...!"
And then
the handbrake, operated hastily and without delicacy.
"Run!"
Janika panted. "Run, damn it, run!"
Carmen ran.
It was very difficult in the darkness, stumbling over bushes and invisible
stones. But she ran, and she couldn't afford to fall. The screams behind the
girls multiplied. And an unexpected element joined the chaos, although for a
moment, it played in favor of the race: the soldiers had turned on a spotlight
and were illuminating the meadow, many meters ahead. That’s where the first
shots were directed, without much conviction. There was a grove, maybe a
forest, and the spotlight spared no details as it probed the darkness during
the seconds that preceded and followed the shouts mixed with barking.
"Die
Hunde...!"
"Lasst
die Hunde los!"
"Dogs!"
Carmen felt the icy grip of terror climbing up her back, biting her neck, like
a greedy preview of future bites. Streaks of dirty white light crossed the
space. Mixed sounds: howls, shots, shouts.
Carmen felt
the ground give way beneath her feet and slid down a slope; Janika, beside her,
didn't fare better, or did she, who knows? They were waist-deep in a stream;
the water, icy and muddy, sought the most sensitive areas to complete the task
started by the other calamities.
"Let's
go, strength!" exclaimed Janika, grabbing Carmen's hand and pulling her.
"The forest, ahead, let's go!"
"Yes."
Exhausted, Carmen saw hundreds of white figures parade, the dead or nearly dead
from the train. She also saw the forest, real or unreal, a few steps ahead,
reverberating at the edge of perception. Let them kill me now, she thought, or
never. I'll be indestructible. She watched Janika taking the lead to climb the
bank and saw her float between fire marks, lifted by invisible butterflies.
Then, the red stain on her back. "Gypsy!" She couldn't remember the
name.
"Run,
girl," murmured Janika.
"No,
together." Carmen put the gypsy's arm around her neck and tried to drag
her, but she was too heavy.
"Ostoba!
Leave me."
"No,"
replied Carmen, stubbornly. She dragged the body a few meters toward the trees
and they fell, embraced, on the wet grass, among broken branches and animal
droppings. The dogs, preceded by their barking, were very close.
"Go.
It's the end," said Janika.
"No.
No. No."
She felt
the first bite on the tip of her tongue, although the dog had bitten her calf.
Suddenly, there were only tumultuous animals, searching for free spaces to sink
their fangs and hands like fans, trying to protect the most vulnerable areas,
barely by instinct. Blind, wounded, wrapped in tunics of bloody mud, the girls
lost track of time and distances, and didn't know that the new shouts and shots
came from the forest, not from the train.
"Vichodzi!"
A rough
hand separated her from the dog's jaws, tearing the flesh without finesse. It
lifted her as if she were a feather while other hands and other weapons dealt
with the dogs. A breath. A second of air without sobs. Carmen looked at her
bloodied hands and barely noticed the pain in her legs, where strips of
shredded flesh hung. She clung to the first tree, using it as a wall between
her and the skirmish, and through the mist that began to cover everything, she
managed to see that the partisans were several and killed the dogs with shots
and stabs.
Then the
universe began to contract, black and dark blue, with some streaks and drops of
red. It shrank to the size of a raisin and extinguished.
She was in
a cabin, on a dirty pallet. A few meters away, Janika was groaning. Two or
three men were talking in low voices by the fire, and a stew was cooking in a
pot.
She woke
up, a day or a thousand later, Carmen couldn't tell. The cold morning air kept
her among poorly tanned hides; the stench and silence didn't get along well,
and Janika's groans were no longer heard. Carmen tried to move her head and
discovered that her legs were burning; a jagged-edged pain ran frantically
between her feet and thighs; insects bit her body and buzzed around like
hellish devices.
Janika is
dead, said a voice in her head. Dead. The same rough hand helped her up. It was
a young man, hirsute, and he also smelled like the devil. He had a weapon in
his hand and Janika's knife at his waist.
"Du
fashteit yiddish? Polish, polak?"
"No."
Carmen felt crabs in her throat but had to ask about the gypsy.
"Janika?"
The bearded
man shook his head. No is no, in all languages.
"Allez."
He smiled, a barely pronounced cut on a face made of stone by circumstances,
perhaps overwhelmed by the audacity of having used a French word.
"Where
are we going? I can't walk."
In
response, the partisan hoisted her over his shoulder and adjusted his weapon so
it wouldn't hit Carmen's ribs. They left the cabin and ventured into the
forest. The man carried her with ease, as if she weighed nothing, but he walked
cautiously, measuring each step. They moved through the forest, which he seemed
to know perfectly, and after a considerable lapse of time, which Carmen
couldn't estimate, they arrived at a clearing where some activity was visible.
Four rather precarious cabins formed a rhombus around a campfire, and armed men
and women were engaged in everyday tasks, not very different from those that
surely occupied them before the war.
"I can
walk," said Carmen. The partisan shook his head and tightened his grip.
"Will you tell me if Janika is alive or dead?" The partisan didn't
answer; apparently, he had already convinced himself that there was no way, in
Polish or Yiddish, to communicate with her. He covered the last few meters to
one of the cabins and entered resolutely, placing the girl on a filthy, smelly
bunk. But the most surprising thing was discovering that sitting in the
shadows, with a lit cigar between his fingers, there was a man.
"Calm
down, girl," he said in Spanish, with a marked Catalan accent. "You
are among friends."
"Who
are you?"
"My
name is Joaquím, and don't ask me to explain how I got here. It would take
twice as long as it took to live it." The man stood up and allowed the
light to highlight a horrible purple scar that crossed his face. He was short
and robust, around forty, though the rigors he had been subjected to made him
look older.
"What
happened to Janika? The bearded man didn't want to tell me anything."
"The
gypsy died, girl. What you did was... madness, heroic, but madness. How did you
manage to escape the train?"
"Through
the skylight, piling up the dead..." A sob preluded the pain. Carmen
remembered the breaking bones of the corpses, the gypsy's nose smelling her
crotch, the dogs, mainly the dogs; she couldn't get the dogs out of her head,
couldn't detach them from her legs, to which they remained attached like
puppies to a teat.
"This
place is not safe," said Joaquím. "The Nazis are eager to bomb the
forest, to gas it, who knows. We are stubborn, obstinate, and few things would
please them more than to erase us from the map."
"Why
did Janika die? She was my friend."
"They
put a bullet in her lung, girl. Not even a doctor could have saved her."
Carmen bit
her lips. The pain in her legs and the pain in her heart.
"Did
you fight in Spain?"
Joaquím
hesitated for a moment before answering; he wasn't sure if he wanted to do so.
"I crossed the Pyrenees in '39. But I didn't wait for the French to hand
me over to the Nazis."
They talked
until noon, both celebrating the opportunity to do so in a common language.
Joaquím, while they spoke, took the opportunity to change Carmen's leg
bandages; he wasn't a doctor, not even a nurse, but war develops hidden skills
at the bottom of despair.
"What
will we do, Joaquím? Will I be able to return to my country?"
The
partisan lowered his gaze and seemed to focus on a tobacco pouch hanging from
his belt. "That was my last cigar," he said.
"I
will die here, won't I? Where could they take me?"
"You
ask too many questions, girl."
It was
Carmen's turn to look away, not because she cared if Joaquím saw her eyes, but
because she felt she was being unfair to these people who barely knew her and
had risked their necks to save hers from the dogs and the Nazis.
"You're
right; I ask too many questions."
Her legs
improved against all odds. She would forever bear the teeth marks, like a grim
embossing of tissues out of place, but she had saved her life. She spent her
days thinking about Janika and found it surprising how time played a whimsical
game with itself, stretching some episodes and shrinking others until they were
almost invisible. She had met the gypsy, been united to her during the most
intense moments of her life she could remember, and lost her. All that had
taken no more than a couple of hours or much less. Then, the days fell like a
downpour, hammering her memory with the handful of recollections of what
happened on the train. The Nazis, the corpses, Janika. And that strange forest,
over and over; that forest that seemed torn from a different reality, from
another time. It was as if she were submerged in a fatal déjà vu, but not of
something that happened in the past but of what was going to happen in the
future.
The
partisans left the clearing and crossed the forest to harass the transports,
placing explosives on the tracks. Some returned wounded, others didn't return
at all. Carmen memorized the schedules, and one fine day, tired of being a
burden, she waited for most of the men and women to leave and left the cabin in
the opposite direction. She had put bread, cheese, and water in a bag, and
although her legs still hurt a lot, she imagined that the forest must have an
end. She would emerge into a meadow, into a village where farmers, ignorant of
the cargo the trains carried, oblivious to the Nazis and Jews and gypsies and
Reds, would give her milk from their sheep and even a good piece of bacon. But
there remained a decisive move for her plan to have a minimum chance of
success: the triangle. Using Janika's knife that she had recovered—Joaquím had
managed to get the partisan who brought her to the camp to return it—she
carefully cut the stitches that joined the piece of fabric to the sleeve. It
was no longer black, not even brown or gray; it had taken on an indeterminate
color, as indeterminate as her own origin. I don't know who I am; I don't care
either.
She threw
the triangle into the remnants of the campfire and watched it burn in seconds.
Again, time. Janika, a life in an instant, a spark of a thousand years. The
fire resembled a burning forest, the forest of her visions, a treacherous
forest hiding a terrible lie. She put the knife in her pocket.
She had
several hours of light left, and the spring air almost convinced her that she
was returning to the Rosedal in Palermo to spend the afternoon with her
friends. It was easy. The ground sloped gently, and the gentle descent made the
walk easier. She couldn't calculate, but she had probably walked for about two
hours when the trees began to thin out, and she knew she was leaving the
forest.
Carmen felt
an unusual happiness. She left the nightmare behind, and it didn't even matter
what might happen from then on. She put her hand in her pocket and squeezed the
knife, sure of what she would do if she fell into Nazi hands again.
The forest
opened to a freshly plowed field. She strained to guess what those people would
plant. She didn't even know where she was. Poland? Germany? Potatoes, wheat,
rye, perhaps. She wouldn't find corn or cassava there, like in her country. She
spotted a road in the distance and quickened her pace as much as her mistreated
legs allowed.
The car was
very strange, green, a model she couldn't identify, although she saw the brand:
Ford. A new model, in any case, too new. Around the vehicle, scattered
haphazardly, as if bored, were four men dressed as peasants. For a moment, she
feared making a mistake and started to retreat. But the men had already seen
her, and after all, when I speak to them in my language, she thought, they'll
be so bewildered that they won't suspect me even if they are Gestapo. Besides,
they didn't look German. None of them was blond. Three of them had large
mustaches, and all wore dark glasses.
"Hello,"
she said, waving cheerfully.
"Hello,"
answered the burliest one, in perfect Spanish. "We were waiting for you,
Snow White. We thought you'd never leave that forest."
"Is it
her?" said a very dark-skinned one; he looked Moorish or Indian.
"Of
course, it's her, idiot. Look at her legs."
"The
legs?" Carmen wanted to step back, sensing something twisted in the
concept and tone: the men spoke in Porteño; it didn't make sense, what were
those men doing in that place? But before she could stop, three of them blocked
her way and grabbed her arms. While the tall one watched with crossed arms, the
dark one snatched the knife, as if he had always known it was in her pocket,
and another man, one with a boxer's nose, took a black hood out of his pocket
and covered Carmen's head.
"What
are you doing?"
"Straightening
something that got twisted, skinny," said one of the men. "Or
something that was always twisted. Did you already forget your friend, the Red,
what he did in Buenos Aires? We didn't, skinny; we have very good memories.
You'll see everything we remember."
The hood
smelled like death. Time, as always, capricious, took Carmen in its arms and
rocked her from one side to the other of eternity. It wasn't a brief,
infinitesimal moment. This time she knew, without a doubt, that it was all
over, that there was no escape. The big green car started off to an unknown
destination. She opened her eyes and saw darkness, and although there was no
triangle, she remembered everything that would happen from then on.
Original title: Triángulos de colores
Translated from the Spanish by Sergio Gaut vel Hartman
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